SpeakOut#15 - Back with a Rebrand

I'm making an attempt again to get back to blogging after the huge writer's block that put me down.

I moved my blog here as part of renewing myself. After all, it is a new year.

I'll be sharing experiences that I came across earlier but couldn't share in time.

Anyways, food for thought.

A while back, I was sharing an inspirational message written by my friend Obed from Philippines who is a young prodigy who voices his opinions for cultural excellence for the youth and his nation. I've mentioned him earlier in one of my posts.

Anyways, I shared his message among some groups online to give the inspiration I felt but what I received from one of the groups was a comment from a person that 'did I have only to share about some Filipino and  had I not heard about Gandhi and A. P. J. Kalam?'. This disappointed me because there I was trying to share something to give a thought and brighten one's evening and he foiled the initiative probably to prove what? His hypocrisy, maybe.

To inspire someone or share such a work doesn't need to be done by all the huge life figures we have always heard in life. It can be done by anybody who does a good work. Your family, friends and people around you. The chances are endless. Promote it.

P. S. Here's the link to Obed's message. <- Click

Poem#10- The Journey, Its Lesson

its raining, its cold
the wind surrounds me, but still i can feel the light
its the change thats coming, the change in seasons,
its still dark and cold, but i aint staying in fright

i dont declare that i'm great
nor try to persuade that i'm something more or less
all i need are your prayers, a great deal of them,
that i be by God and you, so blessed

i'm in a journey
where its fatigue i have and no sleep
because its revival i search for,
i'm commited for it, and that i'll reap

those demons of time,
who come and creep
so jobless, they want me down
but i've learned more, felt whats there down deep

i'm prepared, they can't do anything
they'll just try and have to whine,
because i've fought and will more,
its with even bigger trouble with which, i've dined

i can feel it getting warmer
do you think its becoming fine?
i know that i've travelled a lot and enough
but still i'm not sure, am i near the finish line?

its springtime now,
its done, now i'll be free
the time, the moment,
has come, most awaited by me

welcome, the sunshine says
and now i can last
for long with peace,
not being called again by my past

your prayers, my will
thats what brought me here,
you were the one, that made my will,
yes its true, dear

it was a hard time to learn, that all
what was needed was something forgetten in this world
something that needed to be followed by everyone,
but not jus preached by word

it is what, that i claim
that i have for her,
but has to be given,
to everyone, starting from my misunderstood brother

all i want now,
is that others see their spring too,
suffer less than i did,
but reach their destination, along with learning the truths

SpeakOut#14 - Kerala becoming the new work destination?

Sunday, June 3, 2012

I used to say always that Keralites would be the only people to inhabit their own land by majority and yet migrate to other lands and grow out whether in India or abroad for work and settlement.

I never thought there would be a day when my opinion would change. Alas! it has changed.

Wherever I go now, I notice people from outside the state. Although majority of the migrants are from the neighboring states which is not a new thing around the country, I for one person never thought it could happen. It must be the labour-starvation that made this happen, but even the white-collar job hunt is going on here from outside.

Even as I was having tea outside at a hotel this morning and brooding over this matter, two people next to me started to converse after having their food and I realised they were outsiders too.

Call it my weird Keralite pride! Somehow this has made me happy that people from outside come here to work. Plus, a lot of people here can start learning other languages and dealing with people from all kinds.

But now I wonder whether a day will come when Keralites will complain about their work being stolen here?

News I came across #2 - Zurker, a new SocialNetwork

Friday, May 11, 2012

So a few days back, I came across this site called Zurker which my friend referred me to.

It appears, this is the latest rival in the SocialNetwork field created by the twins from whom Mark Zuckerburg stole the idea of Facebook.

As Zurker is in beta test at the moment, you can only join on referral.
Want to checkout Zurker? then check my referral http://www.zurker.net/i-79306-jdjymwayun

What is great about Zurker is that it claims to make all new members shareholders of its site! YEP, you gain a share in this site when you're a member and you can grow them more by referring it to more people!

BUT I DONT BELIEVE ANY OF IT AND IT FAILED TO IMPRESS ME!

SpeakOut#13 - Bonding over a cup of coffee :)

Sunday, May 6, 2012

It may be at the movies. At the bowling center. A hangout at home or outside. At the usual cafe.
While shopping. Over a coffee. Over some pizza. During a ride. May be just a get together where you get back to your crazy self. And not to forget, chatting!

There is always a standard setup which gets you bond with a person anew. It also applies to get back with your friends to return you to your normal self from your stress filled day or to refill the gap when meeting after a really long time.

I've felt this is why we keep our hang-outs because they help you to be yourselves with your people and even relive your good times even when things dont feel like anything possible as such (only in the most drastic cases of one's life).

During high-school, my friends and I used to meet up at any of the usual cafes or at our friend's place.
During college, its been usually at the college canteen or at a shop near the ashram that runs our college or just at anyone's house.

You can open up about what you felt that day or during previous ones.
Make new friends and concrete the foundation on something you built new.
Laugh about memories and smile with them recovering from those that pinched you before.

Do you want to have a cup of coffee? :)

SpeakOut#12 - Always think before you judge?

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Always talking from your own experiences is the most authentic source perhaps for a person to convince others or teach others.

 I chose that method recently when I had to talk or express my ideas. In my last blog citing incidents at the airport, I pointed out about not passing me as one who is judgemental.

Why? It is so because all of us tend to judge others without giving a thorough thought. A day before leaving for U.A.E. last month, I was chilling with my friends after getting done with an exam and we get onto the topic of me leaving for holidays. A friend then joked teasingly saying 'so Alen returns to Abu Dhabi finally as a Man eh?' to which I replied 'Haha, yeah right. I was man enough when I had come here. What is it that you have done which I haven't man?'.
He gave me a reply which although didn't fit the topic gave me a thought as hard as a brick hitting my head. A thought which brought me back to earth.
He answered 'I felt the comfort of running tap water recently, have you?'


Everyday in his life, my friend had to draw water from the well till the bucket went full and carry it to his
house whether he needed it to drink or for something else; until recently when he installed a motor and could just open the tap to get water. It was a new thing in his life.

Such a feeling isn't known to most of us who blindly get anything with ease when we need it.


Although my question to him was not meant seriously in the slightest manner, it reminded me how we go on to judge about how others are, what they do, how we are better, how some people behave etc. but our conclusions aren't always true.

'To put yourself in another's shoe' is a phrase that we could profess than proceeding to judge someone.

GoodToListen#2 - Beethoven's 5 Secrets - OneRepublic (Cello/Orchestral Cover) - The Piano Guys

although I do have some songs lined up to share and pending, I felt this had to be shared ASAP!

an amazing rendition.

SpeakOut#11 - Peculiar people I saw at the Airport

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

So three days back, I was unloading myself and my bags from an auto early at 5 in the morning, the sun still away from the horizons of Trivandrum. Yet the people were awake and living around the city. The airport looked busier than it usually did during the day and so I guessed that it was probably the prime time for the airport.

I was excited about going to Abu Dhabi finally after a year and that made me anxious about how I fare through the airport procedures without having a problem. Due to that cautiousness, I noticed how the people, the crowds around me that walked in general turned to peculiar characters in the flight to Sharjah which I was going to board.

There was a man who struggles to speak English and yet asks the lady at the airport cafe in English while she replies nicely in Malayalam. He stuck to talking English still and made her reply struggling too. She speaks better yet the whole thing looked awkward. In the end he inquired of every price there and bought cheap thinking he did good  but still managed to wipe out his budget.

There was a lady around her 50s who did not know to speak a word or write other than from Malayalam. She got around the whole way by talking and it seemed like it was all she did. Everything that she found hard to do, she accomplished it by complaining or shouting around the passengers who would then oblige to do it for her. It was evident by this that where she was going, it was for household work and I wondered if she would get her work done there by talking alone too.

Keralites, as we ourselves have noticed, are people who mostly find it hard to do certain jobs because it doesn't stand upto their statuses yet go abroad to find themselves work for all those things they didn't like to go for at their native place.

Another person I noticed was a man who with his wife and 3 children was stopped at the last scanning area before the boarding gate because he had 3 huge family size bottles of water in his bagpack. It is against rules to carry liquid above 100ml and here this guy had 3 huge bottles. The guy reasoned by saying it was for his young daughter. The security then allowed them to carry a bottle however the man still persisted on wanting to carry 3 bottles! He finally took a bottle and left after the security repeated his offer several times even when he didn't need to.

That man even after being given a good offer although he was the one in violation still couldn't accept it when he was the one doing the wrong.

Don't pass me as judgemental. This is how we can notice things around and at times we can see bits of ourselves around through these things and even probably keep such incidents as reminders and mend ourselves. It was quite amusing to watch them too as I had nothing else to do other than passing off the airport procedures which was not much work.

SpeakOut#10 - Easter Resolution!

Saturday, April 7, 2012

I'm a very restless person. Cranky and grumpy infact lots of times. Resulted due to a habit of shoving away things that bother me.
Earlier, I was very good at shutting it inside and letting me and myself interfere with my problems and finish it. That was, however, plain burying it down somewhere until it came back to bug me real bad.
Then I learned to express it out somehow and it has been a good way to vent out, although keeping it inside or letting it out later still gives me a big headache for a while.
I had noticed that it gave me a bonus to burdens by adding a lot of stress to my face and body. I've only looked older because of it and that should prove how many changes one goes through in looks by stress alone.
However, by God's grace the smile my face can put up has been bigger than ever. He probably let me have that one thing to put down these problems.
I've realised that dealing with it at the earliest chance and clearing my mind from these unnecessary pounds of waste can take off a great deal of weight from my heart and wrinkles of my face. Talk about an effective anti-aging process along with those anti-oxidants from wine and ketchup :)

Why a resolution now and not one for New Years? Why hopes up for this resolution?
I'll work for this resolution from Easter because it is something way more special to me than New-Year's.
An oath taken between myself and God to keep the lent and reach the special day. I can finish that.

One of the mini-hurdles accomplished in life with ease, I can say for He is with me always.
So I keep another one for Him and me. Looking forward to accomplishing this effectively.
A good deed done to others along to myself hehe. May God be with us all.
Happy Easter! Our Lord has risen!

Our Lord has risen! Hallelujah!

SpeakOut#9 - Covering up for Memories that should have belonged to Childhood (2/2)

Saturday, April 7, 2012

So this is what Aaron found the other day. Owlets from our relative's place!

The Super Cool Owl Pose

I was happy that he had thought of getting the pictures. What a great sight, they are.
Their mother was confident with her kids being with them, since she was keeping watch from a tree.
Much better, one of them even nipped at Aaron's finger when he tried to play. Reason why Owl Mum was fine!

Another incident that was good recently was how I learned to roast cashew nuts after plucking cashew fruits from the tree and biting them carefully, sipping the juice from it while trying to light a furnace in an old flower pot haha. My friends Riyas and Arun were those who introduced me to this very prevalent pastime amongst kids and elders alike in India who have come across a cashew tree. Shame, I noticed it in my backyard only when they came here hehe.

Riyas getting the cashews down!

Arun with his prized Cashew Fruit

One for y'all to see

(More pictures coming soon!)

They say the whole neighborhood gets to know if you're roasting cashew nuts... as if the aroma gets faster than sound! The aroma was fresh and different too! Especially when the nuts hiss in the fire when the oil within leaves and calls you to inform that it is about to be ready :D Yummy!

Pictures like this can settle my point well, how one's Childhood can be great at the countryside here. It would be great if you can get your company from the surroundings and even better if you've got people along.

GoodToListen#1 - Saari Raat by Noori from Coke Studio, Season 2

Gonna stay as one of my favorites!  The kind where you sit alone and listen to it in your huge headphones as you go immersing yourself in an amazing potpourri

SpeakOut#8 - Eye-Openers from Idukki Forest Reserves (3/3)

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

The Dams in Idukki are signatures of man's power with science at such an early time. From the classes given by our Forest Ranger, I learned that help to built the Idukki Arch Dam was given from the Government of Canada. We were also told that even though the advancement in technology has taken a very vast stride in the past years, at the time of emergency when the shutters of the dam have to be opened, engineers from Canada have to be called to operate the equipment there as the ones in India do not know yet how to operate them. I considered that as a careless remark though.

The Idukki Arch Dam, Cheruthoni Dam and Kulamavu Dam (which lies distant) together created an artifical lake that is 60 square km! (which is a really really huge size for those who aren't bothered by numbers).

Cheruthoni Dam, at a bird's eye view. 

Walk from the Forest Office, Vellapara for around 2-4 kms towards Idukki town, there is a diversion leading to the Hills View Park &amp; Govt Guest House, Idukki. Closing in towards the end of the walk, first, we saw a small monument stating the name of the emissary from Canada who had come and stayed for the construction of the Dams. A training area by the Indian Navy for professional divers is also situated here. Walk a bit more and you can find the entry gate to the Cheruthoni Dam where access is strictly prohibited without permission.

Cheruthoni Dam from within the Artificial Lake

                               
We were in luck as our teachers had already obtained necessary permits to visit the dam. It is a very long walk from that gate where you cover the Cheruthoni Dam and marvel at the structure and view around the artificial lake and then reach the other side of the dam. This leads to the Kuravan Mala* where you've another long walk to the Idukki Arch Dam and then through a tunnel through Kuravathi Mala you can exit out at another side of Idukki. Signs of architecture were seen around these mountains. I had no count on how long that walk was but it was extremely tiring in the heat that day; but it payed off from the sight of power one could see with which the Idukki Arch Dam holds the water. Unfortunately, everywhere there Photography is strictly prohibited.

Myth has it that when Sita was bathing in the river of Periyar, a tribal couple called KuravanKuravathi saw her bathing (not knowing it was a wrong). When Sita saw them, she screamed for help. Lord Rama who came in a fit of rage cursed them to turn into separate mountains for eternity. The KuravanKuravathi couple pleaded innocent and explained and Lord Rama realised the mistake. However since the curse was made, Lord Rama promised them that during KaliYug, they would be united again by man. Although this didn't sound like logic to us in the first case for Sita having made a huge deal out of it, the Idukki Arch Dam which was built between the Kuravan and Kuravathi mountains thus joining them; proved this to become true apparently.

The Kuruvan &amp; Kuravathi Mountains joined by the Idukki Arch Dam.
Picture from www.subups.blogspot.com

If you keep walking without turning for the Cheruthoni Dam Gate, you reach the Hills View Park &amp; Govt. Guest House, Idukki. The view from the Hills View Park (and the Govt. Guest House that border each other) of the Cheruthoni and Idukki Arch Dam is a breathtaker. The Hills View Park is also a great picnic spot for families with a huge pond within it which reminded me of the beach.

View of the Artificial Lake

The view of the Artificial Lake.
At the center, Idukki Arch Dam.
To the left out of sight, Cheruthoni Dam is situated.

Pond within Hills View Park

Government Guest House, Idukki

Note : Mala - Mountain
A detailed official description of these dams can be found at http://www.theindia.info/travel/idukkidam.htm

SpeakOut#7 - Covering up for Memories that should have belonged to Childhood (1/2)

Your childhood memories can be your constant resort to revive your happiness and they can be awesome especially if you had it in India. Sure not all can have it same, but I've always wished I had something to remember as such from India.

My childhood spent in India was only when I used to come for summer/winter vacations from Abu Dhabi and they would flash by so fast since it would be just a lot of visits made to many relatives.
I was brought up in Abu Dhabi, U. A. E. Since my parents used to work and I had my younger brother along, we seldom used to go out to play and would rather be at home or baby sitting when we were very small. A part of the reason why I was stuck at home was because I guess I looked out to make the most from within the apartment because all my fun and frolic came from the visits my cousins used to make. I had a lot of big brothers and sisters to look up to then and they were all the fun I wanted then. Other than that my constant joy was at Church from what I can remember. I miss the fun and happiness which both my cousins and Church used to give me.

However, this pretty much proves that I'm not much of an outdoor/sports person while my brother, Aaron is the opposite to this. He loves to go outdoors and catches the fun there and has covered up for all the time lost so in Abu Dhabi by using it here. Dislocated an arm after falling while climbing a tree, roamed around fields and played around, made good acquaintances and also does a lot of pastimes which I joined along with too.

Eating from the Chambakka Tree has been one of them (which used to happen even during vacations). Another thing to point out (or which you would have already deduced) is that I'm an avid eater more than a writer, reader or traveller.

When it is hot and I've nothing to do, I go to my backyard and look around. Checking if there is something I want to do like tend to the animals (Appa* has made it quite a small farm out here)

or walk around and watch the activity around silently, I go to the Chambakka tree to pay my homage and search for the  reddest chambakkas and eat a few, relish them especially if it is after a fast rain to feel the cold and moist but tangy taste charge me. Once that is done and I've summarised to myself that all is good, I go back inside my den to cool off.

Note : *Appa - Father

SpeakOut#6 - Eye-Openers from Idukki Forest Reserves (2/3)

As we came to our place of stay at Vellapara and went in and around the forest at Idukki what we noticed was we couldn't spot any wild animals of any sort except a blue parrot and green spider, but we saw a lot of dried up and burnt shrubs, plants and even trees. At first it didn't click to our slow minds that what we were seeing were huge wounds to an ailing forest. The weather was extremely hot once it was mid-day so it didn't occur to us but later seeing burnt trees at a lot of places, it hit me like a brick on my head that this could only be man-made. Suddenly the reason why all the signboards and constant repetitions to fight against forest fires dawned upon me. Forest Fires are 90% man made!
A talk with our Forest Ranger in charge enlightened us on the situation of how ignorant people set fire to these areas for personal purposes to try bring around some kind of cultivation or to protest against the authorities for wrong reasons. Another sad thing I realised was that this problem wasn't confined just here but everywhere.

Peermade, another beautiful hill range in Idukki that borders Kottayam (i.e. where I come from) is one of the picturesque beauties where we camped for a week last December as part of the NSS activities. Even there one morning, we spotted a fire but I thought that it was done on private land so it didn't bother me much, but then I realised from Vellapara that the situation was all same around and  that land was not private.

What these people do not realise is that they're setting fire to human lives along with this, maybe not directly on themselves but to their children who will suffer later from a weak and dying environment that has lost its ties with man. The Keralite's disinterest in involving with nature is already seen by the dependency on Tamil Nadu's vegetable and fruit produce. After the MullaPeriyar problem however the warning bells sounded loud and clear and even I have started working a bit in the backyard with my father at times who loves tending to his land in his spare time.

Anyways, back to the Reserves, it isn't that all is lost at Idukki. It still keeps its beauty despite the damage, with the variety in landscapes and trees and waters held around. It is a sight from heaven when you're there early morning. At the end of our stay, we were asked if anything caught our attention here and what we could do for nature. My answer was the Dams and the Forest Fires and that I'm not the activist who could run around demanding changes but I can help make people aware from the contacts I have and the media I use to interact with people. Word of Mouth and the Internet.

SpeakOut#5 - Motivation to my comeback, Obed De La Cruz

I've a friend on facebook called Obed De La Cruz from Philippines who is a brilliant guy. I met him on www.poemhunter.com, a site where you post your poems for people to read, share and get reviews from.
Talking with him after a long time and getting to know about his accomplishments till now gave me the push I needed for a long time to respond to the urge and get back on this blog.

Obed De La Cruz writes beautiful poems and is a guy who voices for cultural excellence amongst students and his nation and more. You can catch him from www.obed-dela-cruz.blogspot.com God bless him!

News I came across #1 - Coping with autism, a poorly understood disorder from IBNLive

I read this today. All I knew the most about autism was from the movie 'My Name is Khan' and I realised that that was nothing.

http://ibnlive.in.com/news/coping-with-autism-a-poorly-understood-disorder/244884-17.html

SpeakOut#4 - Stay at the Idukki Forest Reserves

The place where we stayed for this visit was at the Forest Office's Educational Centre at Vellapara, Idukki built for students like us who come to learn from the place. It was very simple, neat and nice place with two big rooms for accommodating the visitors 'male' and 'female' and a hall for lectures, classes and movies on nature. The kitchen was kept outside and so was the dining area which made the dining part of our visit entertaining with our jokes around and letting us view the landscape around while eating. These were basically the places of our main interest at our place of stay. One can see the Cheruthoni Dam from where we stayed.

The one thing unusual to us were the early morning trips to the terrace to do Yoga.  The main officer in charge of the Forest Office there made it a must that everyone who came there had to involve in Yoga to realise the grand experience that relaxes your body and does the repair and maintenance of your body.

However that was of no interest to quite some lazybums like me. I didn't quit the practise anyhow.

I can say proudly I loved the asana where you lie on your stomach just like how you sleep and snore on your bed in a cold morning hearing the birds chirp and the smell of the dirt on the land which comes when it goes moist from the morning dew.

SpeakOut#3 - Eye-openers from the Idukki Forest Reserves (1/3)

Around the end of February this year, the group of students including those from the NSS (a student organisation) and Zoology students from our College went for a Nature Camp to Idukki, Kerala.
I've been to Idukki many times but this trip made me realise that the places there where I've been to were merely the sides to it and there then I saw the centre of it.
Idukki has a huge part of Kerala's forest reserves, lying in the Western Ghats. Although on the way, you can see some of it, abandoning the road and going into the green side will only help you actually see the forest, its huge untouched haven of life that resonates peace and a prize to watch a lot of things beautiful move around with life which you cannot do without keeping silence. The Western Ghats as a whole is a breathtaker!

Photography by NA Naseer.
https://www.facebook.com/naNaseer

Another good thing to watch out in Idukki is its dams. Idukki has a lot of dams that hold the waters of Kerala that power up our state, and also feed another. It was these dams that actually caught my attention the most from this trip.
What look like natural reservoirs are actually manmade structures that not just hold water from a very vast area stretching around kilometres but create power from it that benefits millions of people. The MullaPeriyar Dam, Idukki Dam and Cheruthoni Dam are the prime from these dams which are actually the current topic for talk amongst common people, activists and governments. About that, I'll explain another time.

Idukki Dam sight from Hills View Park, Idukki

Poem#25 - Your Burdens My Sorrows III

so this i write
completely unto thee
thee are rather those
the dear ones close to me

i stay here, happy to serve as someone
as always with who you can confide
cause thats my purpose i see
a keen listener, the dear friend, i provide

ill be there for you
to share your pain
to double your happiness too
wanna play in the rain?

i stay here, happy to serve as someone
as always with who you can confide
cause thats my purpose i see
a keen listener, the dear friend, i provide

ive put down my time
all for you all,
to talk about and settle
stuff about your rise and fall

i stay here, happy to serve as someone
as always with who you can confide
cause thats my purpose i see
a keen listener, the dear friend, i provide

i might be left alone
i might be swept along the raging tides
but whatever it is, if youre alone
unlike the others, in darkness i shall not hide

i stay here, happy to serve as someone
as always with who you can confide
cause thats my purpose i see
a keen listener, the dear friend, i provide

Poem#24 - No-one's Great just by their Stupid Fights

where is the love
why these fights
fights that last way longer
than the 101 arabian nights

fight cause he aint family
yet fight with kith and kin
fight cause he's religiously different
fight cause his color aint the one on your skin

fight cause you aint better
or fight cause you feel pristine
rather why dont you teach him
whats his cloud's silver line

such helping hands can work
how could they bring you defect
if doubts and hates, you for no reason make
you lose your own respect

all these fights for pride
makes your shine fade away so far
have the guts to chill and make others better?
then thats how you become the shining star

Poem#23 - To Be as Perfect as you can, Never Utopian

you call me utopian?
then how is it that we've God?
dont give such clueless talk
like a kid says, only Superman can bend that rod

life is flawless as it can be
if you keep time to spare
dont sit and talk, brew negative thoughts
and create in everyone, despair

like i said, life is flawless it can be
if there is time to spare
sew those torn up spots in life
live pretty decent in your wonderful flair

pray to live life as beautiful
as the strongest of blues in the sky
like the clouds, snow white
that you may feel they might blind your eye

i dont say always go out and play in the rain
who knows if then lightning strikes on your head
but if theres something good, that would make you happy
try it, why fear to tread?

Poem#22 - Weird Love

to have everything
that makes you able to live so grand
yet behave like such is that state of life
as if 'har din life ka bajhe baand'*

to be bound by love
that makes everything else not matter
it can cause you to make the silliest thing be serious
and even crazier than the hatter

not just the love
that lovers share
but in every kind of friendship and relation
and never just that pair

the love that may
even never be seen
but right when the concern kicks in
you wonder, he/she cares? from when did he/she?

thats how weird
love can function
leaves you to decide when so perplexed
for questions that come across in life's junction

love changes it all
how people see
when even the rich feel so poor
while the opposite feels like a King or Queen

Note : *(made it sound politely enough for 'a kick in the ass')

Poem#21 - The Side-kick's Key to Happiness

the answers are no
like theyve always been
no chance for me i guess
or has there been something i havent seen

always ive missed
even without knowing what it was
wondering why life wasnt right yet
be it the fun i need even if it had some flaws

this is what
ive always wanted to do
music and art
and also some business too

not that business
that keeps me confined
rather running and satisfying
and really hard to find

but it sure is hard
very hard to find
what is this thing
that suits my mind

i need the action's fun
when i get the punch
that when i return it back
and gift the villain's back with a hunch

where will i get this key
when can i attempt
to lock my door to happiness
the one ive always dreamt

Poem#20 - Colorful Rain

the drumroll comes in
i wonder why
whose grand entrance is it?
wait, is it from the sky?

suddenly everything sounds the same
the audience just roars
its the rain!
wow, its already stolen the show

the vast sky is painted
with gray and white
the air is filled and thrilled
and packed so tight

the trees, the plants, the grass
they all gracefully sway
the breeze accompanied the rain
completing a musical in this natural broadway

different shades of green
is mostly all that i can see
the red mud washed away by the rain
in amongst it are my feet

the ducks cry in glee
its like their prayer is finally answered
their joy can be sensed in their dance
even though they certainly aren't good dance

Poem#19 - Dad, the Man!

why cut the credits?
where is your Dad!?
the hero to your movie!
the one with the moves! the Man!

the one who stands silently
who keeps you on the move when you halt
the distinct one, yet stealthy
the taste-giver, the salt

why forget to mention him
when the audience has to clap
he's the kind of producer
who never collect's his hit movie's cash

he's always paying in
giving what his movie needs
even if he has to stay hungry
his movie, his child, he'll feed

when the movie becomes a hit
the director stands high
why forget the guy who actually let this happen
the guy who's pretty much always sidelined

Poem#18 - Your Burdens, My Sorrows Pt. 2

dont think you can fix
all your probs on your own
be it, if you deal it as some big rock
or just many lil stones

its not that you cannot,
but its just that we together should be
doing the solving, sewing it up
wasnt that our deal?

you can't just turn yourself
into a new being
showing that smile, saying youre fine
cause i can feel it, that ain real

i guess you think its ok,
the new you will act trouble free
nothing's really fine, even if no-one sees
cause this ain you but a drama, this makes me uneasy

guess you saw
someone else before i came
that caught your attention
that left you changed

making you feel
that you were complete
prince charming was just great
the heaven was over you, the ground firm under your feet

but just when slowly
times turned, and the peace was broke and incomplete
heaven left, it was raining on you, and you rained back with tears
when the very same ground shook under your feet

it left you thinking
nothing was ever gonna make it right
i felt the change, the difference inside
even when you tried to shut it tight

i knew you wouldnt tell
cause your mind was stiff  and stern
but i only wanted you to spill it to me
when you felt right, so i left time to take its turn

silly me thought u knew
that i was the one for you always there
but sadly u never saw and thought more of ways
to make me forget and not to care

you forgot, you just didnt get it
how much i meant when i said
it aint that you are a burden
guess i should have told you, i saw in you my Angel, Godsend

angels can be  just about
flyin around, makin things right and happy
but youre my special kind
different, but totally not crappy

cause its when i see your smile
and know i helped it making it in you
taking out your grief
smooth out the creases, and make you be really new

cause like i said its a wound that grows in me, y'know
seeing my deary, thinking they're a loser who’s so sore
Believe me let me walk right by your side
All the probs are gonna go, cause you're precious to me evermore than my life!

Poem#17 - Dont Just Write Cause

dont write just cause
when u feel to cry
this isnt just a way
to have them see you whine

this aint just a medium
to show them your depression
thats why they hate to read
if it is about the happiness' suppressions

dont write just cause
you feel thats what you can all write
write about your joys,
and not just life's strifes

you aint emo
so shouldn't be your poems
they gotta see the you,
the happy real one, go show them

dont write just cause
you think they dont know
the mini problems in life,
they always see it, its like an endless flow

i know that you fight
with the feelings that make you blue
but get it right, its gonna be fine
i totally believe in you

dont write just cause
thats what you feel and thats all that comes in you
theres stuff thats better
stuff that sounds way way cool

Poem#16 - Dying

I see him corrupting himself
in front of me
I can't reason out with him
all I do is stand helplessly

all I can see
from metres far away
spirals of thick smoke,
thinning into the air

I'm fine, i know
because I can stay away
but I'm in sorrow
seeing him getting frail

right now, even me
i'm in this mess too
because I'm the second hand smoker
who's trying to help and standing next to you

God knows how
will this ever go?
next thing I know
he would probably die further more

this started out with smoke
next, will he want to sniff?
I don't want to see him next
in a hole dug, lying stiff

I thought, if I stood out
he'd leave, I being his example
but haha, he's turned a business-man
telling me to join and try out his new samples

why can't this end easy?
how do i get him back alive?
i don't want to see him die
but get back, and show them all, who's fit to survive

if its about fun
this isn't the way, it should be
because the story is only good
if the end goes wonderfully

it isn't worth to live
puffing and telling that you're enjoying
because even if it brings a new kind of fun to you
you forgot, that hell's coming, man you're dying!

Poem#15 - Questioning Imagination

am i talking to myself?
do i have second mind?
is there something wrong?
or am i really fine?

all these many questions
weird, confusing me
wouldn't it be far better
if just ordinary or average, i were to be?

too many thing to bother
too many to care about
that if i had any troubles of mine
i'd take it silly, and not let it out

friends would find me different
though, i never tried to whine
they would see that i was weird
and would try their best to know whether i was fine

it is a trait of mine
of being not able to say
its been like that, then
and the same, still today

guess that is why
i've for myself, a second mind
to talk whenever i want
and all secrets within, to confide

it seems, some think i'm hard
but im all soft inside
just then when something's wrong,
i turn hard, and in it all i hide

i just wish i never had to
sit now and question this imagination
if i could open up
and tell these many years' frustration

but like i said, its my trait
to keep closed on troubles, and hide
all i wish now, is that i could change
and with you atleast, i confide

Poem#14 - New Generation

they say we've changed
changed to get better
from necessity
to luxury

but what exactly
did we get better in?
the world has got so fake, that we're dependent
even on the smallest of things

our elders say "in our days,
we used to plough our fields ourselves"
they look at us with pity, cramped in flats
after we come groaning after a 2 hour walk

sanitation and medication has got better
we just get stuck
to the better medicine,
and give a better life to the pharmaceuticals

flus and poxes
that haunted the world
have come back again,
to make a point

that we just get worse
when trying to make life easier
cause when we live easy,
we become as soft and weak like a marshmallow

not being able
to resist anything
and bring back
the ghosts of the world

then when the kids were born with good health
just being vulnerable to the filth outside
but now kids are born with specs,
already weak, an easy prey for the epidemics

if we really were better, the ones who could go to the extreme
we could call ourselves The Generation X
but rather now I guess,
we should be called The Generation All-Specs

Poem#12 - Ramadan Kareem!

its the month of prayer
in which, they stay in silence
they begin to pray, by saying "Bismillah Al Rahman Al Rahim.."
let us all say, Ramadan Kareem!

the month begins
by the mark of the Moon
the heavenly body that glows beautifully
let us all say, Ramadan Kareem!

wherever they're
they stay steadfast for prayer
they pray, whether together or lonely
let us all say, Ramadan Kareem!

through out the day
they maybe weak or silently pray
but in their faces, their eyes gleam
let us all say, Ramadan Kareem!

through this fast,
they learn a lot
discipline, obedience, humility
let us all say, Ramadan Kareem!

they fast with zeal
for half the day
we stand with you, for it, to holily keep
let us all say, Ramadan Kareem!

SpeakOut#2 - Feeling Great Now :)

Summer is (vacations) about to end...
School is gonna start in two days. My assignments aren't complete (not even started =P).
Still, I feel great.
The past two months kept me busy! It gave me fun! New friends! A lot of kids to play around with too!
Kids aren't all cute like they look! All of them have a part of evil-ness. LOL
Believe me, I love 'em, but kids can be a pain too :P
I volunteered at a summer camp. I went for Computer Science tuitions. I was at teens camp at my Church!
They kept me busy alright, and gave me a lot of tan too!
My work at camp got over yesterday. Tuitions are gonna go on. The summer camp I joined got over today!
Although I joined teens camp and I really like being a part of the group, I stood up to help 'em out like the coordinators and volunteers do, rather than participating with them! I loved being a part of the team like that!
To run around busy with work, and to watch the result of your work be great, and being appreciated for it, just makes me high :)
It happened to me, and I liked it :) I know there can be bad times, but all I wish is that I learn from them!

I've always wanted it, and it makes me feel good.
I was asked to speak on the stage too. I've always done it but this time it was different.
Before, I used to stop or get some trouble somewhere, but this time it felt like I knew what to say and I did fine!
I came home, and Amma* said how she was thinking that that was the stage where I started speaking, and performing and there she saw me again, just that this time I was a totally free talking person there!
I felt like I was changing now, somehow being mature and good with it while always being a kid some way or the other! =D

I feel that life's been great!

Thanks y'all, for everything you've done! Standing by my side for everything!
Being there for the good and bad parts of the ever-continuing journey!
I hope we stay together always! and even if we part, that we part for the best!!

*Amma is what I call my mother as.

Poem#11 - Your Burdens, My Sorrows

You tell me that you’re in sorrow
And I try consoling you
But it couldn’t work out, you said
So did I when I was in such a state, ain’t I true?

You say I couldn’t understand
But tell me where did I fail?
Wait give me a chance
Cause when you came to aid me then, did I complain?

In pain, yes I know how you feel
Cause long before you the one who suffered was me
I care, I like you a lot
It hurts me again more than how it had been

You better not go away and isolate yourself
Saying that only now silence will help
Cause am there with you like the moon
Leading your way having the darkness dealt

Its my wound that hurts now it keeps growing more
Seeing my loved ones, living a life that’s so sore
Believe me let me walk right by your side
All the probs are gonna go, cause ur now a part of my life!

Poem#9 - My Savior, My Mentor, My Light

To be betrayed
Would never feel nice
It feels like the deceit u feel
Is like a fall on you by that heavy slab of ice

I thought I had it all
Until the time for an experience had come
I was a silly duckling then
Yet to learn lessons, but now grown far from being dumb

It seemed that the world
Was easy but then all mean as it was seen
But it isn’t just one, but more experiences that are needed
To tell you how the world is now, from where It had been

My trust was broken
I was left alone
I felt it like a sudden
break in my backbone

I was left to die
Betrayed by the hands of my so called friend
But that day, the same one from which I was reborn
gave me a mind, steady, grown and all mended

It was first sadness in me
That had sprouted first
When I fell to the ground
And breathed in the dust

But the emotions in me
That kept watering my feelings more
Told myself that a work
Of revenge was then that I bore

But time passed by
And taught me the lesson
That nothing could bring a change
Even if I’d kill him and be a felon

It would rather be great
To start from where I began
Now more cautious and alert
Keeping my eyes steady on the path where before I ran

Its just love and hope
That remains in me
Which was brought in
From a light that had taken me away from misery

From an unexpected time
When he came by
Taking me by His hands, teaching me slowly
And time passed by

Love your enemies
That’s what he said
Now I always keep praying for them
Before I go to bed

And that was the way
Brought by the light
Shown to me, by my greatest mentor
In all my Love, Dear Jesus Christ

Poem#8 - Mothers, The Angels!

Necessity could be
The mother of inventions
But the necessity of my inventions
Would be my mom

From the time I came
I kept no intentions
But to keep me best were her intentions
From my start so small

It wasn’t just for a single day
But for the whole of my life
That she sacrificed her whole life
For me to keep going happy on and on

She wanted me to keep so firm
Even when I didn’t know how to stand
A good job she’s done to have me stand
Is how she’s now taken me this way all along

I’ve grown and now
I see the plight that a mom takes
To see the turn that her child’s life takes
To grow and keep control

I salute them
And all the more adore
To see that its from how they adore
That the world has got the Love in it and grown!

Poem#7 - Love Confused (Cont'd)

it made him hurt all the more
when he tried to keep it quiet
it all just felt to him
that he could never be right

tears that he held within
n pain that tried to keep on hold
jus made that promise deep within
loosen up on its own

he knew he could never keep up with it
he then became strange.. it was soon
the cries and sadness that was all in him
made him into a loon!

words which had for her before
were of such that made him, himself spellbound
but now all that was left for him
made him all alone, fallen on the ground

the mouth of his that praised her alot
now said that he hated the thought
that he still loved her and not being able to convey
was the reason for the sadness he had brought

Poem#6 - Love Confused

chances he uses
power he drains
courage he picks up
but still he's frail

he loves her a lot
but still they're friends
he doesnt want to hurt her
so calls it as an unnecessary trend

the taunting he gets..
the poems he writes
her unknown companionship
jus makes his love ignite

but still with the part
that they're friends
he doesnt want to hurt her
and calls it as an unnecessary trend

she saw some of his lines
and asks to whom it were for
but he laughed it away, says they're made for fun
like taking some shells while sitting by the sea shore

but there was a time
where he couldnt take it anymore
the time came slowly
where he told who his love was for

the incident takes place
when she asked him without moving.. who he was behind..
he says it out..wen his pressure broke..
that she's the girl.. the one of a kind

she asks him what she had to say
but all he said was i dont know
and then it ended up as he expected
with a small and polite No

he continued, heartbroken
saying that he knew it all along
it had been his way of life
to suffer even after hopin and praying after all

she told him to shut up
n that there were still better girls left
then why did he have to
choose only her bereft

without giving an answer.. and his love for her still alive
for her and the still living frndship
he chose to keep it down
for all the comin while

he still loves her a lot
and still they're friends
but since he doesnt want to hurt her
he prays, for either his love or life to end..

Poem#5 - I Promise

I kept screaming
Not letting you sleep
All I did was fuss, I remember
How bad I was, now I weep

You wouldn’t let go
Until I was asleep
U cared for me more
Like a shepherd’s care for his sheep

Little I was then
Grown I am now
Stupid I was, and learnt
To not make those mistakes again, I vow

Mother, you worked
And protected me, under your care’s sheet
I stand here now alone,
But like your dream, now on my feet

You aren’t here anymore
But I keep wishing and praying still
How wonderful it would have been
If you were here seeing your dream fulfill

Mom, I promise
I’ll be living like how you said
Grateful those cause of who am living,
Working and sleeping, peacefully on this bed

Poem#4 - I Believe, in Him

that light that came
that took you out
it stood for me
before i gave my shout

its a sound to your failure
and the sign of my win
its the call to disaster
for you, and your kith and kin

i pity them, those who came to you
but i pray for them, that they see the truth
i wish they learn, i wish they turn
back to the light, and have u at the noose!

death is what we believe in
but that it only belong for u
cause we believe in the Father, the Son, the H. Spirit
that makes us strive and to be true

this is the choice that’s worth it
we go for the Almighty, the loving one, who gave us life
rather than being your half breed
always used, like the meat slaughtered by the knife

you thought it would be fun,
to see Him on the Cross
but now dont you see,
i know you're afraid, afraid of my Boss! !

after all, you believe in Him too
then what’s there for us to doubt?
He's the one we Believe in,
To him, I tie my knot

Poem#3 - Fallen... in Love

its the thing of beauty that Keats talked about
but i speak of the living one
who brought me from darkness
from fear, from pain to the everwarming strong bright sun

how colorful can love be
it comes in red, blue and even white
how much of care can it give
the hugging and taking you from sorrowful past, to the best time it can give you tonight

i'd seen you before in childhood's grace
the innocence that was lit in your eyes
made the man i remember then, so grumpy and hated
all to a being, turned so nice

you showed me the truth, the secret, the power
that kept us up in our life
that it was love that made the world go round
so when hardships come never mind

you kept me away, from my heart to fade
my mind and soul from tear
just when i was there to fall in my tears
and have a weakened body so bare

you had me fallen, only for one certain thing
you made me fall... in love
the love that made rise though
rise high all time, but i dont know how

its all about this fall, that i think
and that i dont regret about
cause the fact that has me here today,
is that i live from you, for you, my love!

Poem#2 - Did it happen again?

i thought it was over
all gone and done
damn, its human nature
again, i've fallen in love

a small little girl
with her cute puppy eyes
with her smile, so sincere that brought me down
i, who was twice her height

is this actually love or affection
this case, how do i describe
these were feelings i never had before
they'll stay, but soon, she will go with time

im always so up and alive,
when im near her
that i was jumpy and warm, while she shivered,
in the chilly december

when my hands met with hers
it was a time, one of a kind
no, sparks didnt come and i didnt get zapped
but that was a time, i wsh would stay longer, or atleast again revived

is this actually love or affection
this case, how do i describe
these were feelings i never had before
they'll stay, but soon, she will go with time

i thank my age
but mourn about it too
cause it was that, that got me near her
but it keeps me away now, this short time was only how much God drew

all i know now is that
spending time with her, is what i love to have
but its too late, she's gone now, not dead &amp; departed
but just home, to be with her mom and her dad

is this actually love or affection
this case, how do i describe
these are feelings i never had before
they stay, but damn, she's gone with time

SpeakOut#1 - A Weaker Generation

I'm having a bad neck ache! (I don't know if that is how it is to be called). Anyways, I was talking about it to my friend and it reminded me how the elders say, "these kids nowadays are nothing like us. They walk around complaining of body pain and such stuff at this point of age. At my time, we used to walk long distances for hours and hours to reach school or do a lot of work".

I guess that is true. How this kind of phase has come for the generation is probably because of the luxury we get now. The more modern we get, the easier to carry out daily work.
The weaker we get, because we don't get used to actual work.

I regret that.

Poem#1 - Wishes in the Rain

I was sitting with my books

I wasn't bothered about them

I was stuck in thoughts

in thoughts about you

I saw from the window

it was raining

it kept me wondering

whether it was your love I saw or God's caring

late in the night where the moon keeps its shine

I see you in it; also my cloud's silver line

out in the rain I want to be with you

wouldn't it be great, if it could be true!

but how can I know that you love me

after all you never gave me a yes

quietly you stood away

just making me anxious and worried

not knowing where you were

but it did give me the pleasant feeling

just like the rain drenching away...

my thirst yet which never quenches

when I got to see you and talk to you

I still wonder whether all the time

I give in for you, thinking about you, living for you

is worth the hope that one day

I'll have you by my side, when you'll be loving me too

just like waiting for the rain hoped for

to wash away my pain and...
bring forth my love.